Feminine Feminist to Admire: Lillian Vernon

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A few months ago, I mentioned that I want to start celebrating inspirational women who have helped change the world
yet don't get the recognition they deserve. While I've had to set this goal aside for a while thanks to my incredibly busy yet wonderful schedule,  I'm determined to keep the series going as often as possible since it's so important for women (and men!) to have female role models in various areas of business, philanthropy, education, home life and more.

Why I Am A Feminist: Part 1

Flower obsession!

I was never really meant to be a feminist
in the way many people understand the word today. You see, I grew up in a traditional family with traditional values, and thus thought of feminism as a dirty word connoting disruptive women of old. I had pink sparkly walls and notebooks covered with Leonardo DiCaprio's face, I was captain of the cheerleading squad and hosted girly sleepovers. I was the typical Alpha Girl. And I was NOT a feminist. 

The Importance of Female Friendships

"I don't know what I would have done so many times in my life if I hadn't had my girlfriends. They have literally gotten me up out of bed, taken my clothes off, put me in the shower, dressed me, said, 'Hey, you can do this,' put my high heels on and pushed me out the door!" —Resse Witherspoon In Touch, April 2013

Birthday drinks outside of the St. Louis Arch.

With Valentine's Day coming up, I've somewhat ironically been thinking a lot about the importance of close female friendships. You see, as much as I love the romantic dates I've had with my man to celebrate, my truly favorite memories of the day are actually from the times I spent it with my closest girlfriends. 

My top three favorite V-day memories include the time I found roses outside at my dorm-room door from a girlfriend who had bought them the day before at a charity auction, cooking up a pink and red themed storm at a girlfriend's house

Cat Calling: An International Perspective

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This past weekend I caught up with a close friend of mine who lives abroad and heard about her recent trip to visit family in NYC. Olivia* was full of tales about the wonder of the city of skyscrapers - she raved about her week of glittering lights, fantastic shopping, and forays into the enviable cultural scene.

However, during the course of our conversation, amidst her tales of visits to art exhibits and trips to sumptuous restaurants, it became clear that something wasn't quite right. When I brought it up, Olivia reluctantly mentioned that while she adored New York, it was hard to fall in love with a city when she constantly felt scared walking around by herself. Despite having lived abroad in numerous countries like Austria, Israel, England, and more, Olivia was shocked by the persistent and aggressive catcalling she received in every part of the city she visited.

I found this perspective both interesting and incredibly disheartening. For a woman who has travelled and lived in countries around the world, as well as in the United States, it seems an incredible shame that such a beloved city like New York

A Feminine Feminist to Admire: Christy Turlington

instagram: cturlington

You've heard it before: women are often misrepresented in the media. For decades, famous females have been definitively divided into two categories - the dumb blonde or the bossy bitch. While this identity crisis for women in the media is undeniably true, I believe we have an even more pressing problem on our hands. The fact is, smart, powerful, motivated and altruistic women often don't appear in the media at all. Women who deserve credit and praise for the inspiring, powerful and wonderful things they do each an every day are not celebrated, but are instead ignored or slighted in favor of a celebrated male figure.

So often women are cut out of the picture while men are credited with huge successes and breakthroughs. Historically, the glorification of male accomplishments may have occurred more often because women were stymied from entering the public realm through harsh laws and strict social codes (something we'll get to at another time), but during the 21st century when we have come so far towards equality, it seems absurd that powerful women aren't receiving the credit they deserve. 

This is why I'm making it a personal goal for 2016 to include posts highlighting the phenomenal work of feminine feminists around the world. The more role models we put out there, the more inspiration women and men will have for highlighting the accomplishments of strong ladies in their lives who do fantastic work behind the scenes each and every day. 

For the first post, I wanted to highlight Christy Turlington, whom I saw speak two years ago in Chicago. Ms. Turlington, speaking about her organization, "Every Mother Counts", which assists women in developing areas on prenatal care, floored me with her effortless grace and eloquence, as well as her passion for helping young mothers in need.

A bit about her past: 

instagram: cturlington

Christy Turlington was discovered at age 14 in Connecticut while out on a horseback ride. After photos of her riding landed into the hands of a NY modeling agency, Turlington was welcomed into the arms of the selective fashion world. While she didn't pursue a career in fashion until after her high school graduation, Turlington went on to become one of the most successful models of all time. Exploding onto the fashion scene in the 1990's, Turlington's portrait graced the pages of over 300 fashion magazines, and she was constantly pursued by fashion editors, makeup artists, photographers and designers the world over.

Not content to rule just the runway, Turlington decided to go back to school to earn a Bachelors Degree at NYU while simultaneously pursuing her career in fashion. The young model excelled at her studies and graduated Cum Laude in Comparative Religion and Philosophy Studies from NYU's Gallatin School of Individualized Study.

instagram: cturlington

The next few decades saw Turlington continuing to dominate the fashion world as well as turning her attention to numerous philanthropic causes. For example, Turlington supported many efforts to rebuild post-war El Salvador in the 1990's thanks to her Central American roots, worked tirelessly to promote smoking prevention and cessation, and also began supporting several maternal care organizations.

In 2010, Turlington debuted her documentary film, "No Woman, No Cry", which highlights the startling and oftentimes horrific conditions women in undeveloped countries face during pregnancy. Turlington subsequently launched the organization Every Mother Counts, which raises money, supplies and transportation for such women in need. 

everymothercounts.org

Every Mother Counts is an incredible organization that brings essential medical care to women in locations such as Syria, Nepal, Bangladesh, Uganda, and even the United States. In the last few years alone, EMC has helped thousands of women through education, transportation and the gifting of basic medical supplies. 

I was so inspired by the incredible work EMC does, as well as the passion and commitment to the cause Christy Turlington showed during her speech at Chicago Ideas Week in 2014, that I decided to host my own little fundraising party and donate the proceeds to the non-profit. It was a wonderful feeling to know that every dollar we raised was going to help future mothers and their babies, and that even individual donations of $10 or so made a great difference. You can learn more about donating here. 

everymothercounts.org

Today, Turlington continues her efforts to improve prenatal care for women through EMC and advises for Harvard School of Public Health board as well as the Advisory Board of  New York University's Nursing School. In addition, Turlington is studying Public Health at Columbia University in New York. 


While most people know Christy Turlington as a beautiful and successful fashion model who was regarded by many as "the face of the 20th century," much less attention is paid to her ceaseless humanitarian efforts and continuous pursuit of education. Much more than just a pretty face, Turlington is a strong, powerful, compassionate and educated person seeking to make the world a better place. And that is something to celebrate. 

Earning less during the holidays: a (different) feminist perspective

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It's that wonderful time of year again! The holidays are right around the corner, the streets are twinkly with fairy lights, and we're frantically creating hearty lists of thoughtful gifts to get for each of our loved ones. It's the time of year when we're full of love and laughter, and are bursting to show our friends and family just how much we appreciate them. 

In all the excitement and holiday joy, it can be easy to forget just how expensive this season is. So many of us find it hard to resist spending that tiny bit extra on the perfect present for those special people in our lives. After all, it's the season of giving and it'll make that special someone so happy! Remember that gorgeous perfume your mom adores but hasn't bought for herself in ages? Great! How about that slightly too expensive but adorable clutch that would be perfect for your best friend? Throw it in the cart and head to the register! you tell yourself. 

While spoiling your friends is fine on occasion, it's easy to go a little crazy with your spending at the holidays, and this can be detrimental to your both bank account and your future if you don't take care and create a budget for yourself. It can be even easier to fall into this trap if you make significantly less money than your family, friends and significant other. Believe me, I know. The inability to spoil the people you care about can be difficult, especially if they are able to buy more extravagant gifts for you. So what's a girl to do?

This past year I made the extremely scary decision to quit my job and go to graduate school to pursue a more fulfilling career, and things have been...tighter since I headed back to the classroom. I'm so lucky to have a partner who is supportive and willing to take on some additional expenses while I work to pay for classes, books, gas and school supplies. While I appreciate and adore his support, it is sometimes difficult to feel like I can't split things halfway, or that I won't be able to buy him something truly outstanding to thank him for all of his support this year. After all, isn't that what the feminist movement is all about - equality (including with your bank account!) between men and women? 

I could tell myself that my financial strain is just for this holiday season and that I'll make up for it in the future, but if I'm honest, my chosen career will never provide a comparable salary to that of my man. And I'm learning to be okay with that. Instead of lamenting the fact that I can't shower my boyfriend with gifts, I've been brainstorming creative ways to say thank you that don't cost a lot of money. A homemade meal over Christmas, a decorated apartment and scented candles that smell of pine and cider to fill our home with the smells of his favorite time of year? Done. Making sure to do some extra laundry and keep our home especially clean? Perfect. A card stuffed under the pillow on Christmas morning telling him how much I love him? (Would have been a great idea, but I'm sure he'll read this before then). The point is, it's the little things you do and the effort you put into creating a special holiday for the two of you that counts for so much more than a shiny gift on Christmas, or whichever holiday you celebrate. 

I know a lot of you must be feeling some anxiety over your smaller salaries. After all, according to TheFinancialDiet.com, only 29% of women currently out-earn their husbands and in 49 / 50 states, women earn less overall than men. Of course, it is imperative that we fight for income equality as well as the presence of more women in executive positions, but for those of us who have chosen careers that will never provide the same earning potential as our partners, we need to accept and even embrace just that: we are partners.  Earning less money than your man doesn't mean you're any less of a feminist - the fact that you have a choice in your career proves that. So what if you chose a profession that fulfills you but doesn't pay loads of money? You know your worth, and the ability to buy an expensive tie doesn't change that. So this holiday season, don't stress about not being able to buy the most expensive gift in the department store. Instead, concentrate on the little everyday things you can do to say I love you and show your appreciation for all of the wonderful people you have in your life. 

Gender Identity & Embracing Femininity

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I recently attended a fascinating lecture where we were all asked to participate in an activity that provided some interesting insights into how we identify with gender.

Upon entering the auditorium, we were each asked to write down our five strongest individual identifiers. People could have written things like: Reader, Cook, Runner, Sister, Brother, Latino, Extrovert, or any number of different terms. I myself put Feminine, Feminist (of course), Academic, Foodie, and Occasional Introvert (this one might have been contextual  -- I was terrified of being called on to share my terms in front of the entire room).

It is surprisingly difficult to come up with five different words to describe yourself. Can you think of your own? (See what I mean, its hard!) Perhaps we find it easier to judge others than to judge ourselves - I could have chosen any number of positive attributes for my closest friends or family members, but struggled to come up with 5 of my own. I noticed a few people around me clearly felt the same way as they raced against the clock to complete their 'personality maps' in time.

Eventually we all completed our forms, and the presenter then asked a series of questions regarding our identifiers: If we associated with the question, we were asked to stand up. So, for example, if the lecturer (who was, incidentally, a man) asked, "Did one of your identifiers have to do with your ethnicity?" anyone who had written down their ethnicity would have stood up.

For the most part, the groups who stood for any given category were varied. In the case of the ethnicity/race question, a handful of people from different races, countries and ethnicities stood up, including a number of white Americans.

The ONLY time a group was starkly segregated was when the issue of gender came up. Not a single man stood when gender was named as a primary identifier.

How fascinating! Why is it that the women in this room felt so connected to their gender identity while not a single male felt the same way about his masculinity? People will of course have different opinions on this, but it seems to me that the privilege of a male gender identity in this society is so taken for granted that it never occurred to the men present to write it down.


Thinking about this further, I can't help but think that because 'masculine traits' are both culturally normalized as well as constantly praised, men don't need to identify themselves as "men" at every turn. Women, on the other hand, are constantly pitted against those same idolized masculine qualities like competitiveness, drive, focus, ability in math and science, and strength, to the point that we must constantly assert ourselves both in opposition to 'masculinity' while also aligning ourselves with those very traits the male gender has claimed as its own if we want to get ahead. No wonder we feel so strongly about what it means to be a woman!


Indeed, the word 'feminine' has so often been associated with negative terms such as weak, gossipy, obsessed with love and relationships, needy and, well...stupid. Yet today, empowered women know otherwise. To be feminine, or to identify as a woman, is to also be strong, assertive, competitive, capable in STEM research, and driven. Perhaps we are owning our gender identity because we are recreating what that identity means. Whatever the case, I was proud to stand up with a number of intellectual women asserting their 'femaleness' for all to see.


P.S. If you want more FeminineFeminists posts, you can now find more on BlogLovin! Follow my blog with Bloglovin

Let's Get Some Things Straight

There has been so much dialogue in the media lately about feminism, you can't seem to turn on a T.V. or scroll through Twitter without someone ranting on about it. Yet, people who use the word so casually, and who attack the idea of "the f word" often seem to misunderstand the true meaning of feminism.


Let's get some facts out there. Feminism is about equality for women and men, both in the public and private spheres. Today's feminists seek not just equal representation in board rooms and on pay rolls, but we demand equal respect for our "female" qualities. We believe that women should be able to command a room with authority and not be labeled a bitch for being outspoken. We believe that women should be able to show emotion at the office or in public without being judged or thought to be too weak for an office environment. Perhaps most importantly, we believe that women should be able to feel safe walking home from the office at night or when we're headed out to a party dressed in our finest.

It's important to note one main aspect of every point I mentioned above: we can't get there without the help of men. Feminists today understand that the goal is for both women AND men to work together towards a more equal and respectful society. Women can't lead a room full of men without those men understanding that a woman's opinion is just as valid as his. Additionally,  women can't prevent sexual violence without her male counterparts helping to eliminate this plague of constant violence and harassment. This is not a fight against men, it is a fight with them.

I came across an article recently in The Huffington Post entitled "What's So Feminine About Being A Feminist" where author Lisa Marie Jenkins asserts that there is nothing feminine about feminism today. In fact, Jenkins states it is clear why feminism carries such negative connotations in our society. This kind of literature, published on a highly respected site which I normally love, is exactly what gives feminism a bad name and discredits all of the hardworking women and men seeking true equality. There are many women just like me who love to bake, knit, and go to the salon yet  also believe there is more work to be done on the feminist front. Let's keep the dialogue going.

Thanks for reading,

Madison